Podcast 047 - The Success Trap (and my story!)

So, what's it all about?

In this episode, I chat through The Success Trap and my own story of getting stuck in it - and how I got through it.

So if you feel like you can't get focussed or motivated - or you just can't move forward with your business but don't really understand why, you may be stuck in The Success Trap so make sure you listen now so you can find out how to escape.

I also chat about my most popular offer right now - my VIP Strategy Day

What can you do NOW to grow your business?

If you're ready to take your business to the next level, but don't quite have enough confidence - or know how to actually do it - book a FREE Breakthrough Call below

On the call, we'll...

✅ Get total clarity on where you are with your business - both in terms of Mindset & Strategy

✅ Figure out what's holding you back from taking your business to the next level (this is often where the breakthrough happens!)

✅ Come out with a clear plan of how you can push your business forward, to earn you the money you want - in the time you have!

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Transcript

Jenni: So today I'm gonna be talking about the success trap. And I'm gonna do it slightly a different way today because I'm gonna tell you a bit of a story, and to. cut a very long story short, I was stuck in the success trap, which I'm gonna tell you about and use my story to demonstrate this because I guarantee if you're not moving forward enough or if you're not moving forward you.
As quickly as you want to in your business, you may be stuck in the success trap. So let me take you back about four years when um, when I started or when I discovered I wanted to be a coach. Um, , I was, I obviously had him. He was very, young. I had my daughter as well. And I just wanted to do something that I enjoyed around my [00:01:00] kids that didn't involve me going back to an office.
So that was my definition of success was a bit vague. It was doing something I love, working from home, working around the kids earning a bit of money. And you know, my idea. When he goes to school. And that was my kind of defining timeline. Then I could kick my business up. That was my kind of plan, but I worked with a coach at the time.
Obviously being a coach, it's best to have a coach. Um, So I got caught onto that early on and when I worked with my first ever coach she said, Oh, that's all a bit vague. , Let's do some goals. Let's like really figure out what you actually wanna achieve.
So I sat down and I defined some of my goals with her and it was all based around when my kids are in full-time school, I can then really kick off my business. That was the plan, right? I was just gonna do it because I love it. Learn the ropes of coaching, work with a few clients, [00:02:00] earn a little bit of money.
Along the way so I didn't have to go back to an office job. , just get the hang of it. So when my kids were both in school, I'd have the time to really pick up the business kick up a gear or two and, earn more money by working less for myself on my own terms. So we defined what success looks like, for me back.
And what I wanted which I didn't really believe was possible. And I came out with three things with this coach, and I remember it now because yesterday , I was in a bit of a weird place and I made myself remember it.
It was three things. It was I wanted to reach my preki corporate salary from doing something. For myself that impacted and helped other people. That was one of my first thing. The second thing was I didn't wanna work so much. I didn't want that nine to five Monday to Friday slog. I wanted to work the time that I wanted to work on my terms, which was about [00:03:00] three days a week.
That's what I was saying, three days a week, one day on the. One day for me, that was my definition of what this big picture success looked like for me back then. So it was pre-paid corporate salary, working three days a week and having enough money to not feel guilty about. Doing stuff for myself.
We have an amazing local spa here in Wingham, and when I moved here I was like, Oh yeah, I want full membership. Eventually I'm gonna have full membership to that spa and I'm gonna go like every couple of weeks. And in my head, that was what success looked like for me. It was having this business, working for myself, making impact for other people.
Three days a week more than my preki corporate salary and having enough money not to feel guilty about spending it on, going to the spa and having this membership to this spa, which was completely out of my reach. I never dreamt about doing it. Back then, it seemed really un [00:04:00] undoable for me.
And I was like, Okay, yeah, that's great. That's what I'm working towards. That's the massive long picture vision. But fast forward four years and. , I've done a lot of that , and on Monday I was like, Why do I feel so odd?
Why do I feel like I can't get down to anything? What's going on? I feel really unfocused. I didn't really know what to do. I was being distracted by all the things, and I was like, What's going on? And I realized looking back at those goals, that day yesterday was the day I was supposed to kick off my.
Right up until yesterday I was supposed to just be playing at my business and have a few clients learn the ropes, you know, enjoy what I did, make a bit of pocket money and yesterday was the day, like that big thing that I'd worked towards for ages and I set my sites on four years ago is like, [00:05:00] that's the moment I get to really go for it with my business.
and I sat down, I revisited these goals and I thought, Okay, well I've met my preki corporate salary. I've done that. Not only have I done that, I've got my husband out of his job his full-time job. We've built a second business and we've met his corporate salary as well. So that box was well and truly ticked in terms of my kind of big picture dream vision goals.
I do work when I wanna work. I don't work three days a week, but that's more my choice. . Um, I probably work four days a week. I definitely take, you know, uh, some time off here and there to do my house, go for a walk, do yoga, all of that. I do. So that was the second box ticked. But I'd forgotten about all of these goals.
I'd forgotten about my definition of success, and I hadn't redefined as I'd [00:06:00] gone. Definition of success. I hadn't done that. So yesterday when I was sat there thinking right now's the time, it was like well, actually, like what am I, I don't have this vision definition of success anymore. The only thing I hadn't done was the spa, right?
And the big reason I didn't do the spa back then was a money thing. It was like, how could I ever for not you. Not feel guilty about spending that much money on a spa. But then as we created more money in my business and now created more money in my husband's business, the money's not the thing. So it's like, why have I stopped myself?
From doing this, And I think it's because when you define success, you define your reward for success. So, in my eyes, success was the salary. It was impacting people doing something that I love. It was working the amount of hours I. Done. And my reward for that was to spend money on a spa and not feel [00:07:00] guilty about it.
So I'd kind of met my definition of success, but I'd not noticed that I had and I'd not celebrated it. . And my business had moved us so much further. Like I'd got distracted by all these other things like my program. I'd built a program, I'd streamlined my business so that I didn't have to just work one to one.
I could create even more impact without working , those one to one hours with clients. So I'd moved my business so much further than I ever dreamt possible, even at that point where, The kids are in school and now's my time to, pick my business up and take it seriously. That was the milestone was get the kids in school and then I can take it seriously.
And, I streamlined I had this program and there's so much more that I'm doing now to this program. We are relaunching it soon. It's going bigger than ever. It's getting a rebrand. It's doing relaunch. [00:08:00] I'd not noticed cuz I'd moved onto the next thing and I'd moved onto the next thing. . And so I think that this is the success trap, right?
It is everyone tells you, define your vision of success, define what success means for you. I tell people this it's going to be incredible. We do need to define success.
We do need to set goals, but what we also need to do, which so many people don't do, is track those goals and celebrate and notice when we've achieved them, and I tell my clients this, but if your coach is out there, you know that um, A lot of the time you let yourself down on stuff that you definitely tell your clients to do.
So yeah it's noticing when you've reached a milestone. And I reached a milestone yesterday, but I felt so weird about it and confused about it because what was linked to that deadline? Was it changed, It evolved. I'd already succumbeded it. I'd already [00:09:00] met it. most of it apart from the spa. And for me yesterday it was a. Oh my god moment because, I'd done what I set out to do and so much more in less time and to get to a point in time. Where you are planning to then kick things off and realize you've already done it is kind of a weird feeling. And I took quite a lot of time yesterday to process that and go like, Why am I just feeling really unfocused and confused in my business?
And the reason is, I now need to redefine my version of success again, and I would say your definition of success needs redefining. If you are moving fast every three months, at least every six. If you are, maybe more part-time, at least every year, and you need to set reminders on your phone to do it because it's so easy to forget.
But when you are working in this [00:10:00] place where you don't have that vision set and you don't know what the associated goals are you can't get focused. You can't get down and do the work. You don't really know what you're working towards, and that's a really tricky and confusing and demotivating place to be.
So if you're ever feeling like that, please ask yourself, Is my vision clear enough? Is it up to date enough? Am I tracking it enough? Am I celebrating it enough? Because all these things are so, so, so massively important. Let's just summarize what the success trap is. Basically, it is defining your success or defining a goal and then forgetting about it.
and so many people do this. So you've got to. do three things really. First of all, you have to remember your vision and remember your goals. So how can you do that? Is it about having a vision board? [00:11:00] But one that you have a reminder on your phone to every single day or every single week actually consume a bit of in your brain, not just like a picture that you end.
Not even noticing that is there. So you have to remember that you have it. You have to remember the details. You have to have the timelines and the deadlines and the numbers and the facts and figures in it. And you have to track that. So you have to track your progress in your business. I think if you.
Uh, In a corporate job, like there are systems that make you track your progress. You have deadlines, you have milestones, you maybe have managers that help you keep you accountable. You have reviews in your own business and not a lot of people set that up for themselves. So you have to have a system to.
What achievements you've made and how far that you've come. And the third thing you have to do is celebrate how far you've come and really say to yourself like, This [00:12:00] was my definition of success back then, and I've reached it and I'm gonna be proud of it and I'm gonna shout about it. It's a very British thing to do is to reach a goal and then stay quiet and not say anything about it.
But that doesn't help inspire other people to move forward and to celebrate themselves and celebrate and be proud of what they've done, what they do. So today, I wanna say, this is me. Those were my goals. I've gone so much further than that vision, like I need to celebrate that. I need to let you guys know that, so that you can celebrate and it for it all to feel a bit more normal in terms of celebrating and talking about our successes and then redefining it and then working towards something new that is equally as exciting.
but defined and tracked and all of that kind of stuff too. So the three things to get [00:13:00] out of this success trap um, remember your goals and your visions have a way of tracking them, is number two. And. Celebrate every step that you have on the journey. So if you work for yourself, no one else is gonna make you do that.
If you are not in an office where you have a manager that gives you a review and deadlines and milestones, you have to do that for yourself to build a sustainable business. Hopefully I have made you think. What your definition of success is at the moment and what it was at the beginning of your business.
That's really important. And noticing how far you've come. And you can do this in life, in health, in anything. And if you are struggling with your definition of success and you need some help with that and some goals and some mindset, That's exactly what my VIP strategy days do, and I'm currently booking for October for those now.
So if you want an intensive one on one day with me to figure out what the biggest things [00:14:00] are that hold yourself back in terms of mindset blocks or kind of process or any of this stuff that you really think, Okay, what is holding me back from being motivated and driven and really going for what I want?
That's the first half of the day. And then the second half of the day is to get down to some strategy. So we do business modeling, we do marketing messages and marketing pillars. We do sales strategies and funnels, and we really simplify. And create the business that you are gonna be really focused to work towards and give you that vision and that drive and those goals.
And notice how far you've come so that we can define what it is you want to achieve next. That's what a VIP stress. Day does.
It is one of the things that gets people stuck is really understanding what they wanna achieve and setting the goals and tracking it and celebrating it. That's the fun bit of running your own business. [00:15:00] Right. And I must say I'm now booked into the spar the spar is one thing that is now a non-negotiable for me because it was that.
Kind of that definition of success at the beginning was to have the time and the money to do something like that for myself on a regular basis. So I'm pleased to say that's now firmly booked in to the calendar. And that is something that I will be enjoying later on the, in the month.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Your Mindset and Method podcast. If you want to grow your business and you're struggling with maybe the confidence or the strategy, To be able to really take it big. Then why not try my 30 minute do it yourself business growth audit. You can find this on my website at https://www.jennidonato.com/growth-audit/
It's completely free and it will take you through a 30 minute process to audit [00:16:00] your business. It will help you to develop a success mindset and get clarity over your business right now and what potential it has for growth, and it will help you discover more about how you spend your time and where you are wasting it.
It will also help you to define your vision for the future and set your goals so you can wake up excited every day. Knowing how to push your business forward. So take the business, jenndonato.com. Thank you so, and I'll see you again for the next episode.